MORE GHOSTLY CAPERS !

Since our resident spook took a liking to the 24 Hour News Channel we have tried to remember to unplug the TV before retiring each night, unfortunately from time to time this important task is forgotten amid late night chores such as stoking the fire and making the cocoa, far too often for my comfort!

On Monday night I was awakened at two thirty by the most horrendous racket. Loud explosions rent the silence accompanied by anguished screams and the sound of heavy vehicles, muddled with sleep my poor brain did it's best to interpret these disturbing sounds. I began to wonder if perhaps the local shop had caught fire and the sounds I was hearing were being made by exploding gas containers and Fire Engines. even my sleep befuddled brain ruled out terrorist activity, once I remembered that I no longer lived in London!

As the fog in my brain began to clear I realised that ,of course the cause of the disturbance was the television in the kitchen, and that a trip down stairs would be necessary,cursing, under my breath I plodded across the long passage to the stairs at the end of which I almost collided with my son. He too had been awaken by the noise and was on his way to investigate....we decided to go together.

As we entered the drawing room the noise became louder and by the time was stood by the library fire the racket was deafening. Quickly I headed for the kitchen to unplug the blasted thing..

Pa who had forgotten to pull the plug that evening slept through the entire affair......typical!!!!

The next morning we wearily discussed the nights events and agreed that in the future all three of us would check,double check and then triple check that the television plug had been removed from the socket before retiring for the night.

L peace did not reign for long ,last night,on my way to the bathroom I was startled by one of Twiggy's toy mice as it hurtled along the passageway.Small and life like it squeaks very loudly when it moves. I looked around for the cat in vain and shortly afterwards discovered her fast asleep on Pa's bed at the opposite end of the passage. Moth was down stairs asleep on the library hearth rug.............so who threw the squeaky mouse toy across the length of the passage? Take a wild guess!

Back in my room and much too wide awake to go back to sleep at once I decided to make a hot drink, it was while the water was heating that I heard, once again the squeaky mouse right outside my door. Exasperated I threw the door open ,there was the mouse lying on it's side but once again of the cat there was no trace.

Baffled I picked up the mouse with a view to hurling it though the bedroom window and it was a this point that the cat strolled sleepily out of Pa's bedroom and with the air of one who is aggrieved at being woken by a noisy neighbour, she stalked, tail erect along the passage to the guest room where she curled up on the bed and with her paws over her eyes, she slept once more.

By now Pa had been disturbed and I made him a hot drink and another for myself and after chatting over our coffee for a while we both returned to our neglected beds in the faint hope of getting a little more sleep. Pa was fortunate......I was not!

With a load of logs arriving early in the morning I needed to be up and about as the delivery drivers have the habit of dumping the logs in the lane at the end of our drive unless someone is present to prevent it.

As I drank yet another cup of coffee I pondered the question of the ghost and came reluctantly to the conclusion that I should have to take steps to curb this nocturnal nuisance. I decided upon a banishing ritual and have sent in to Wales for the special candles needed for this procedure, I have been using the same supplier for years and have performed many banishing,s to good effect, although seldom upon a ghost.

I am not happy at the prospect of performing the ritual as it seems so unfair to evict a spirit from is home and yet it is rapidly becoming a matter of survival. During the past week this pesky spectre has contrived to have the whole house awake for hours on three separate occasions and we are all rather tired. Something must be done!