HYSTERICAL HISTORY

As I had expected last night proved to be a sleepless one, poor Pa was unable to sleep at all and rather than leave him alone and miserable I kept an eye on him throughout the night administering cups of Ovaltine and coffee at regular intervals punctuated with small snacks as he had eaten very little during the day.

In order to stay awake I resorted to U tube and decided to watch an eight hour epic about that granddaddy of all misogynists Henry 111V, and most entertaining I found it for it was quite compellingly dreadful!

To begin with Ray Winston, an actor who looks and sounds like an East End thug, had been cast in the role of Henry,as appalling a piece of miscasting as I have ever encountered. Yes, OK he is a little on the heavy side and has hog bristle hair with a beard to match but there the similarity ends, and although he stopped short of it I kept expecting him to break into Cockney rhyming slang.

Now I know that Henry's manners may not have come up to the standard of those of the French monarch Francis 1, but with all he was a renaissance prince, learned and cultured, he wrote poetry and music; although he was at times inclined to plagiarism it must be faced!

Winston puffed his uncouth way through the entire production in a manner better suited to an East End barrow boy. In short he played Henry as he plays every part....as himself.

If this were all it would have been bad enough but worse was to come. The part of the slender, captivating young Anne Bolyen was played by a heavily pregnant Helena Bonham Carter who had about as much chance of playing the fascinating elegant Anne as Miss Piggy.

Although the director made every effort to display her only in head and shoulders shots whenever she appeared in long shots her rapidly expanding waistline was all too obvious.

Since it is well known than Anne was executed on a trumped up charge because she failed to produce a male heir her six year pregnancy gave the production an air of farce.

This was never more so than in the touching scene of her standing on the scaffold making her final speech before being executed for being unable to produce for Henry the longed for Prince looking at least seven months gone as she was assisted to the block. By this time I was laughing out loud, it was unbelievably funny.

How the rest of the cast managed to remain straight faced I shall never understand, it must have been quite a challenge, even for such an accomplished actor as David Suchet, who played Cardinal Wolsey with a great deal of sensitivity .

I am often disappointed by films and documentaries of a historical nature, over simplification and often downright glaringly incorrect assumptions make me very angry, especially when delivered with the utmost conviction by alleged “Historians” This was different, it was so dreadful that like an Ed Wood movie it was quite compelling.

It does seem a pity though that such an obviously lavish production with an otherwise wonderful cast should have been ruined by such appalling miscasting of the two leading roles.

What next I wonder, Kenneth Branagh as Winnie the Pooh, or perhaps Cilla Black as Queen Victoria, after watching this film I believe that anything is possible!